Matthias Hoehne
level up
Your game!
Improve your:
Leadership qualities
Conflict management
Coaching skills
Presentation skills
Ability to tune into people
...
basically all your
relationships!
With more empathy and
emotional intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) The Currency of the 21st Century
Research indicates that our ability to accurately perceive the emotions of those around us through visual cues is limited to approximately 61%. That means that almost half of the emotional signals which are available to us are overlooked or even misinterpreted.
are you able to reliably spot non-verbal cues?
Learn to pay attention to what people are not saying!
Sometimes, people hide their objections, feelings, or conflicts. By noticing certain cues in their facial expressions and body language, we can see their true emotions. When we develop these skills, we can respond to people's needs and emotions in a helpful way. As managers, consultants, coaches, or simply as friends or partners, by better understanding others, we can deepen our relationships and improve our communication.
Think about it... What could change if you were able to better understand the people around you?
Areas in which I can apply this content immediately...
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As a leader, I aim to keep turnover low in order to establish stable teams, consistent productivity, and a healthy company culture. Frequent turnover often comes with high costs. It can be especially painful when the ones who are leaving are our most creative minds and we didn't see their needs. This leads to additional recruitment processes, potential gaps and lengthy knowledge transfers. Team dynamic can suffer, and it can be challenging to restore it. Do I want to loose my people to other companies simply because I didn't see their needs?
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Nonverbal cues such as facial expressions and body language can indicate feelings of dissatisfaction and objections that are not openly expressed.
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By developing the ability to recognize certain signals and knowing what they indicate, we can be proactive in addressing issues as they arise. Leaders with higher emotional intelligence have been found to foster greater employee loyalty and satisfaction—which also results in lower turnover rates. When employees feel like their needs are recognized and addressed, they will be more engaged and productive in their work.
Leadership
Consulting
As a consultant, I strive to achieve the greatest possible satisfaction with my customers in order to create a trustworthy relationship and ultimately to also win further projects. But how can I tell if my client is really satisfied? Not every concern gets verbalized right away. And it is definitely better when I see something is off and I ask my client about it than the other way around.
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Distinguishing real joy from a social smile can be a game-changer in these relationships.
Being able to understand the needs of my counterpart can drastically improve the quality of the relationship. Have I already met the needs with my current suggestions or results? Do I see real joy when presenting my work or is there a feeling of uncertainty or even surprise? Paying attention to non-verbal communication enables us to see these things. Studies have also shown that an increased emotional intelligence correlates with more deals and greater customer satisfaction.
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As a Scrum Master or team lead it is my goal to establish an open and appreciative team culture. Especially in cross-functional teams we bring people together with different strengths, backgrounds, personalities and needs. Here are conflicts not only inevitable, they are necessary! If I want to use all the potential in my team, we need to have a team culture where we can ask critical questions and learn from each other. But do we have such a safe space? Is my team ready for open communication? Are there walls within the team? Do I see misunderstandings or even power struggles?
Signals in interpersonal behavior can tell me e.g. how much connection or sympathy we have within our team.
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When I see that there is tension within my team that keeps them from doing their magic, I can address that in a supportive way. If I have an understanding of the individual personalities and their needs as well as the teams personality, it will be much easier to create a space in which the team as a whole can grow, and also each individual person.
Teamwork
interviews
In job interviews I am either looking for a new job myself or am looking for support in my company e.g. as a recruiter. In both cases I want to quickly evaluate if the other party fits my needs and expectations. I'll ask myself questions like: "What does the other person think of me after this short meeting?", "Did they answer my questions honestly?", "How was my statement or request received?"
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Non-verbal behavior, particularly during stressful situations, can often reveal fears, doubts, or skepticism.
How does the applicant feel when I mention the amount of leadership responsibility or paperwork the position comes with? Conversely, how does the recruiter respond when I express my aspirations and future plans as an applicant? When I notice any concerns or questioning in peoples expressions, I can utilize response statements or ask further questions to gain clarification. This not only helps to avoid any potential misunderstandings but also prevents a mismatch between both parties.
Our loved ones, including family and friends, hold an invaluable place in our lives. With them we share both pleasant and unpleasant emotions in a remarkably intimate setting. Especially within these relationships I can ask myself: "When on average I only perceive 61% of peoples feelings, don't I miss a fairly large part of them?"
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I can train my perception like a muscle in order to to recognize wishes, objections and fears of other people and also whithin myself.
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"Why didn't you say something? I assumed everything was ok..."
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Did I just offend someone? Did my girlfriend misunderstand what I said? Is my partner drifting away from me right now? Are my children telling me everything was ok at school but I see something is bothering them? Do I perceive that beneath an undeniable anger, there may be grief or fear that actually needs attention? Sometimes, giving someone your attention or acknowledging and understanding their feelings can make a big difference in how close you are to your loved ones. These small actions can help strengthen your relationships with them.
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